Summer Sessions, Session Four

Session Four: Megan Toscano, interviewed by Angela Pardue

Hello, Megan. How has your week been?

It’s been good. I’m spending the week with my parents so it’s nice to be home and catch up with old friends.

What is something you want people to know about Megan Toscano?

That I am a terribly happy person 95% of the time, regardless if my writing is usually sad (… almost always).

When and why did you begin writing?

When did I begin writing… if we’re talking about actually writing seriously, I would say freshman year of college. At the time I was seventeen. Before then, I’d always had a livejournal and written down my thoughts and tried my hand at fan fiction, but I doubt I was that great of a writer. During high school I wrote lots of poetry, and some of it’s all right, but most of it is just teenage angst.

When did you first consider yourself a writer?

I’m not even sure I consider myself a writer now. I write, yes, but it isn’t a career. It’s more of a hobby. People do what they love, but their hobbies or talents don’t define them. There’s plenty of people who are much better than me at writing, who have been published and publicized, and who devote everything they have to their craft, and I consider them writers. I have an ambition to write, but I don’t believe it makes me a writer. I haven’t put in enough time to label myself as so.

Have you learned anything from writing?

I’ve learned a lot about pushing yourself to do things even though the passion isn’t always behind it. Particularly, when I write a book I always get to a point where I do not want to write anymore. This usually happens around sixty pages in, and I end up struggling for weeks to even write out a page. Writing has taught me a bit about pacing myself when I can’t write, but still being determined enough to finish and not give up.

Mostly, I have learned from others’ writing though, and not my own.

You said somewhere that “we must use our colors wisely and significantly”. Can you elaborate on that?

There begins the metaphors, haha! I did say that. I believe the line went something along the lines of “life is our palette, and we must use our colors wisely and significantly if we wish to leave a stern imprint on the world.” Metaphorically speaking, what I mean is that the world, the people we meet, the friends we cherish, the family we are born into – everything we are given and we earn should not be taken for granted. We should take what is given to us, our “palette” in life, and try our best to do what we think is right with it. So many people in life become so negative, and so rough because of their past. That saying was me trying to tell everyone that life is a palette, it is a piece of artwork and we are the artists. It is only what we make it. We have to understand our fragility and capabilities and do the things that matter most instead of just slapping paint onto the canvas and wishing for the best. We have to try.

Do you have a specific writing style?

I have a couple of tendencies in my writing. First of all, I always need a narrator who is a character. I find it almost impossible to tell a story from a third person’s point of view. I also write my stories with an air of mystery. A lot of writer’s like to expose their characters pretty quickly, giving a background story and all. I hate doing that in my writing. I like when a story flows naturally. When an author introduces you to a character and runs with it, and eventually answers all of the questions. It’s more of a process of getting to know a person much like you know a friend. No cards are on the table at first. They must be earned.

I also tend to write incoherently sometimes. My stories deal mostly with sadness, with my protagonists feeling lost or hurt somehow, and so a lot of the time they talk in circles, they confuse the reader. Most of the time, the confusion is necessary. I write in a lot of plot twists, as well. Anything to keep the reader guessing and wondering who the character really is.

Is there an author whose style you particularly admire?

I’ve been in love with John Steinbeck since I was fifteen. I admire his writing so much even though it is nothing like mine. He creates these wild, distinct characters who are trying to find themselves. And he doesn’t limit himself to teenage characters or adult character or etcetera. He spans everyone, and I love that about him.

What books have most influenced your life?

East of Eden by John Steinbeck, Looking for Alaska by John Green, How to Kill a Rockstar by Tiffanie DeBartolo.

Is there anything you find challenging in your writing?

I’m assuming this question means challenging for myself and not for my reader. Hmm… I find it hard to keep writing sometimes. To keep in the mindset of a character for so long, because it can be absolutely draining at some point, especially since my character’s are usually in a bad place. Other than that, the worst part is editing. I can’t stand it.

Is your writing character or story driven?

I’d say character. Usually the story is wrapped around the character regardless, but most of my work is about people who are attempting to grow up and figure out who they are, and the plot is helping them do so.

Are you the type of writer who can just sit down anytime, anywhere and write, or do you need more structure?

It depends. There’s times when I am open enough to just sit down and start writing and come up with something awesome, and other times it’s difficult and I can’t do it. Lately I haven’t written that much because at this point, I’m too crazy trying to figure out myself to figure out a character. So, I believe it depends more on where I’m at and how I’m feeling.

In addition to being a writer, you’re also an accomplished photographer. Do these two passions play well together?

They do, actually! The greatest part of being a photographer is showing people what I see, and the greatest part of writing is showing people how I feel. They play off of each other a lot. It’s as if I’m satisfying all of my senses at once. When I feel like I can’t photograph, I write, and vice versa. It’s almost a form of self therapy at this point. When one begins to get really unimaginably difficult, I transfer to the other and it is able to relieve my stress.

What do you see as the greatest hurdles in accomplishing your goals?

I think the greatest hurdle in anyone accomplishing their goals is themselves. We are all afraid of rejection, or putting in everything you have and failing. I truly believe that if someone wants something, and they go for it without holding back they will eventually get it. Whether this will be an easy path or a difficult one is unknown, it can be either way – but I think anything is possible if you want it enough. For me, the biggest obstacle standing in my way right now is myself. I’m at the point in my life where I’m not sure exactly what I want yet, and I’m hesitant to make a first move.

What do you want readers to take away from your work?

I want them to be able to feel what the character’s feeling, and understand the lessons that the characters learn. I try to string along things I have learned when I was younger in my books, and hopefully people walk away with those lessons, or question them at least. I want people to think a bit, and discuss.

What are your current projects?

At the moment, I am writing my fourth book, although I haven’t put much work in just yet. It’s titled Escape, and it centered around a young teenage boy who goes looking for revenge on his Father after his Mother’s suicide. A lot of it is about him fighting with himself, comparing himself to his Dad and trying to overcome the feeling that he’s just like his Dad is, that he hurts the people around him. It’s a bit of a mystery novel because he’s never known who his Dad is, and so he goes searching for him with some unexpected help, and uncovers some things he never knew about his family.

Photography wise, I’ve just been spending the summer taking photos of friends and events. My camera is on me 24/7. I take at least ten photos a day. It’s just a practice method for the most part.

If you could go back and give any advice to a younger you, what would it be?

Oh, geez, a lot of things. Not to lie first of all. I used to lie a lot when I was younger. Probably to not be so scared, or let my fear control me. So many of us get scared of making decisions because we’re afraid things won’t work out. The fact is, if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. You can always start new, or find something else. When I was younger, I didn’t understand that. I was very all or nothing, and it left little time to do the things I wanted to do.

And for fun, the same questions I ask everyone: What was the last thing you ate?

Grilled Chicken subway sandwich on flat bread! I really love the flat bread there, I tried it for the first time today.

If you saw someone drop $20 on the street, would you tell them?

Yes! I 100% believe in karma, and so if I didn’t I would be terribly paranoid something would happen to me. Plus the fact that you never know how much that person needs that money, and I’d feel bad not giving it back.

What is the strangest thing that’s ever happened to you?

I don’t know… living in the city has it’s odd points (I love getting asked on the street to give someone a blowjob, NOT), or getting creepy notes underneath my apartment door (It’s not fun when they know where you live). However, I have a freshman story I’d love to share, and of course it involves a creeper. My first week in the city with my new room mate we decided to purchase a hamburger phone(like the one in Juno!) and so we hooked it up and thought it didn’t work and forgot about it. Then one day it rings, and of course I pick up and ask who it is and this guy is on the other line asking me what my bra size is and everything… weird, I know! Dumb me, I’m thinking it’s this gay guy we met earlier because who else would know my extension in the dorm, and so I think he’s joking around and so I joke back. A little while later I realize it’s not the guy at all, since he doesn’t realize I’m even a college student or in a dorm, and then I got freaked out and was like, “I’m going to go now.” And he says, “No, baby, you’re so beautiful, don’t hang up on me, let’s go for a drink.” I hung up and started laughing hysterically with my room mate and for five days this man wouldn’t stop calling, until I decided to just unhook the hamburger phone and never hook it back in. That was a pretty random/strange occurrence. The lesson is, don’t talk to strangers on phones even if you think they’re that cute gay guy you met earlier because they most likely aren’t and then they’ll stalk you.

If you could have one super power, what would it be?

Read minds. I can’t help it. I wish I could say something cool like fly, but I’m terribly afraid of heights. I would say grow gills, but I’m afraid of the ocean(… and sharks!), and I would never want to be invincible because I’d never have another adrenaline rush again. Reading minds, however, is pretty safe and awesome, and I always see people on the street and wonder what they’re thinking about and their life stories. One of my favorite past times is getting to know a person, and this would make it all too easy. Plus the fact that no one would be able to lie to me ever again. Talk about a good way to find out a guy’s motives. :)

What first drew you to spoken word poetry?

I searched YouTube for audio clips of my favorite poets reading their work, like Langston Hughes, Sylvia Plath, Allen Ginsberg, Charles Bukowski. Exploring related videos led me to watch spoken-word poetry for the first time, and I was hooked. There are many clips from the now-canceled Def Poetry Jam, which used to air on HBO, as well as performances from the finals of big-name poetry slams and even some prelims. I watched so much of the stuff that I couldn’t get the medium out of my head, and I started writing poems that I realized were best performed, not read.

For more on Megan Toscano, visit her at Megan Toscano.com